April 16, 2012

  • Cold turkey sucks

    So, yeah... My doc was out when I called the VA, but my nurse was there and I was able to talk to her about my situation. And it was a complete different conversation than the one I had on Friday... She even made the comment how it was odd I was only getting 67 painkillers, when in fact I take 4/day=120/month. (YAY!! Someone who can do math!) I told my nurse that while I understood that the nurse I spoke with on Friday wasn't familiar with me or my situation, that I couldn't get across to the nurse why I was calling in for a refill... My nurse kind of laughed. Then she said she'd get my doc to look at a refill and to update the quantity since I take so many...

    While I'm excited that I only have to rough it one more night (bringing my cold turkey status to day 4), I'm not looking forward to the night part... Last night I couldn't get settled. Between the pain and nausea, restlessness was setting in. And at one point I woke up in a cold sweat. I don't like that... Yes, I've been wanting off this crap for years now, and it's looking rather likely that it's working out of my system, but, I'm unsure as to how this will actually set for my back. I'm being reminded of why I have to take the poison with pain that I haven't had to experience in years. But, if it can work out of my system, would it do more harm than good at this moment? And, if I can get out of the haze and pain, how can I maintain the distance from where I've been the last couple of years? My head just seems really hazy at the moment... Maybe I shouldn't think too much on an empty, upset tummy...

    Well, I better get before my body realizes it is not in fetal position, but rather sitting (sorta) up at the desk... Until next time... CIAO!!